PDA

查看完整版本 : 緊急救命II 幫忙改一下英文...


加量熱狗
10-14-08, 10:38 PM
死就死啦 ...兩分鐘得啦掛 好難背晒耶
Ultimate Olympics – The Final Countdown<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>
Documentary Review<o:p></o:p>
<o:p> </o:p>
Good morning everyone. ‘One World One Dream’. The Beijing Olympic has already finished succesfully on 24<SUP>th</SUP> August, 2008. It was a big party and all the events were excellent for spectator. But in my opinion, the most fascinated thing is the preparation for the Olympic Games. And this make me admire the documentary, Ultimate Olympics – The Final Countdown, which premiered on the Discovery Channel on 3<SUP>rd</SUP> August.<o:p></o:p>
<o:p> </o:p>
All the cities in the world want to obtain the auspices of the Olympic Games because it is a good chance for a city to make up an appearance and this can also improve a nation’s economy. When Beijing became an auspice of the Olympic Games, lots of people became extremly excited. And that’s the time to improve Beijing’s community.<o:p></o:p>
<o:p> </o:p>
The engineers always checked the system to maintenance the buildings which blend with Chinese and Western culture. And The air pullution is serious in Beijing so the government move the warehouse away to keep the sky blue. The people are kindly to the visitors from other countries. And they were ready to welcome olympic. <o:p></o:p>
<o:p> </o:p>
I think those people who have devoted their times, minds and labours are very greatness. They gave out lots of their energy to help the country to hold on a good Olympic.The engineers built the magnificent building as Water Cube.The Government moved the factories far away and reduced cars flow rate to solve the air pollution problem. Some commoners did a guide for voluntary and learn lots of language. Peoples in Beijing change their bad behavier away as littering, spitting away. They all just wanted The Beijing Olympic can be succesfully, and it showed you a strong nation spirit, although nobody would remember them.<o:p></o:p>
<o:p> </o:p>
What a amazing olympic party! Did you have any unforgettable experience in this grand occasion? Did you enjoy the Beijing Olympic games? Did you become a fan of any athlete?<o:p></o:p>
<o:p> </o:p>
This is the end of my presentation. Thank you for your attention.<o:p></o:p>

古惑的狼
10-15-08, 01:08 AM
死就死啦 ...兩分鐘得啦掛 好難背晒耶
Ultimate Olympics – The Final Countdown<o>:p></o>:p>
Documentary Review<o>:p></o>:p>

<o>:p> </o>:p>
Good morning everyone. ‘One World One Dream’. The Beijing Olympic has already finished succesfully on 24<sup>th</sup> August, 2008. It was a big party and all the events were excellent for spectator. But in my opinion, the most fascinated thing is the preparation for the Olympic Games. And this make(makes) me admire the documentary, (")Ultimate Olympics – The Final Countdown("), which (passive voice?)premiered on the Discovery Channel on 3<sup>rd</sup> August.<o>:p></o>:p>
<o>:p> </o>:p>
All the cities in the world want to obtain the auspices of the Olympic Games because it is a good chance for a city to make up an appearance and this(it) can also improve a nation’s economy. When Beijing became an auspice of the Olympic Games, lots of people became extremly excited. And that’s the time to improve Beijing’s community.(語意不明)<o>:p></o>:p>
<o>:p> </o>:p>
The engineers always checked the system to maintenance(maintain) the buildings which blend with Chinese and Western culture. And The air pullution is (has been) serious in Beijing so the government move(moved) the warehouse away to keep the sky blue. The people are kindly to the visitors from other countries. And they were ready to welcome olympic. <o>:p></o>:p>
<o>:p> </o>:p>
I think those people who have devoted their times, minds and labours are very greatness. They gave out lots of their energy to help the country to hold on a good Olympic.The engineers built the magnificent building as Water Cube.The Government moved the factories far away and reduced cars flow rate to solve the air pollution problem. Some commoners did a guide for voluntary and learn lots of language. Peoples in Beijing change their bad behavier away as littering, spitting away. They all just wanted The Beijing Olympic can be succesfully, and it showed you a strong nation spirit, although nobody would remember them.<o>:p></o>:p>
<o>:p> </o>:p>
What a amazing olympic party! Did you have any unforgettable experience in this grand occasion? Did you enjoy the Beijing Olympic games? Did you become a fan of any athlete?<o>:p></o>:p>
<o>:p> </o>:p>
This is the end of my presentation. Thank you for your attention.<o>:p></o>:p>

隨手望兩下改左少少

仲有一定要問既係,<o>:p> </o>:p>即係點解

someday
10-28-08, 02:49 AM
死就死啦 ...兩分鐘得啦掛 好難背晒耶

Ultimate Olympics – The Final Countdown<O:p</O:p

Documentary Review<O:p</O:p




<O:p
Good morning everyone. ‘One World One Dream’. The Beijing Olympic has already finished succesfully on 24<SUP>th</SUP> August, 2008. It was a big party and all the events were excellent for spectator (就咁 were excellent 就 OK, 唔使特別 for spectator, 聽上有點 clumsy & 怪怪地). But in my opinion, the most fascinated (fascinating 先係 adj.) thing is (was?) the preparation for the Olympic Games. And this make (made?) me admire the documentary, Ultimate Olympics – The Final Countdown, which (was) premiered on the Discovery Channel on 3<SUP>rd</SUP> August. <O:p</O:p
<O:p</O:p

All the cities in the world want to obtain the auspices of the Olympic Games because it is a good chance for a city to make up an appearance (?)and this can also improve a nation’s economy. When Beijing became an auspice of the Olympic Games, lots of people became (were 可能好 d, became excited 好似有少少 "chigulish") extremly (mind the spelling, extremely) excited. And that’s the time to improve Beijing’s community. (可以 elaborate more , improve 北京個 community 的什麼?in which aspects?)

The engineers always checked (always check) the system (as) to maintenance (maintain) the buildings, which blend with Chinese and Western culture. And the air pullution is serious in Beijing so (唔要 so, 轉 that) the government move(d) the warehouse away (as) to keep the sky blue. The people are kindly (kind) to the visitors from other countries. And they were ready to welcome olympic. (And they are ready for The Olympic)
<O:p

I think those people who have devoted their times (time), minds (?)and labours are very greatness (就咁were great 就得). They gave out lots of their energy (were dedicated) to help the country to hold on (唔使 on)a good Olympic.The engineers built the magnificent building as Water Cube (就咁 the magnificent Water Cube 就OK).The Government moved the factories far away and reduced cars flow rate (the traffic flow) (as) to solve the air pollution problem. Some commoners did a guide for voluntary (volunteers did a guide) and learn lots of language (怪句). Peoples (ppl 唔加 s) in Beijing change(d) their bad behavier (behaviour) as littering, spitting away (,such as littering and spitting). They all just wanted The Beijing Olympic can be succesfully ( they wished the beijing olympic could be a success), and it showed you (demostrated) a strong nation(al) spirit , although nobody would remember them. (唔明想講乜, 想話每個人都好微小咁解? or ...??)
<O:p
What a(n) amazing olympic party! Did you have any unforgettable experience in this grand occasion (grand event ?)? Did you enjoy the Beijing Olympic games? Did you become a fan of any athlete?<O:p
<O:p
This is the end of my presentation. Thank you for your attention.

總括黎講, d grammer 錯好多, Adj. (eg.successful, great) 同 adv. (eg.successfully, greatly), noun (eg. success, greatness) 好似唔係好識分.

有 d 錯左 "an", "ed", "s" 唔知係 typing mistake or what.

某 d 句子怪怪地, 有 d quite clumsy, 同埋有點 "Chigulish". Tense 有點亂, Present, past, pp. , etc.

文意大致上都明明地, 但係成篇文嘅鋪排好似無乜連貫性. 而且每段第一句聽唔出你跟住想講乜 (topic sentence), 同埋有點兒呢度講下果度講下咁, 好似講air pollution, 其實你可以 grp 埋一段講, 例如 "Regarding the problem of air pollution, the government 咁咁咁...", 唔好第三段又講下搬 d 貨倉, 第四段又講下 traffic flow 同工廠. 跟住工程師, architecture 果 d 可以開另一段講, 跟住最後人民又點樣做左 d 乜野 voluntary works 同埋佢地對 visitor 態度友善又可以係另一段. 同埋最後問果 d 問題, 雖然通常教就教寫講稿最尾可以寫少少 question, 但係呢篇睇返黎有點兒 irrelevant to 你上面篇文咁.

希望你唔好介意~ 我都唔係識好多, 但見你咁有心機打晒 post 上黎, 見到順手就想改下 :cwm15: